While most Americans probably have no idea that there is a very important election going on in Canada today, John Oliver took to the air last night to try to bring us all up to speed.
And it was pretty hilarious.
Oliver made it clear that current Prime Minister and Conservative Party leader Stephen Harper is unfit for another term in office because of his regressive policies regarding minority rights and marijuana use among other things.
And while he poked fun at the two other main candidates for Prime Minister, Oliver saved his most devastating scorn for the current leader of the country.
If you are in a time crunch, we recommend jumping ahead to the 13:20 mark so you can see a really funny cameo from Mike Myers. Let’s just say that he touches on a certain landmark moment.
Watch: John Oliver begs Canada not to vote for Stephen Harper again.
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Photo Credit: Screenshot/ Youtube (HBO)
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Here’s What Valentine’s Day Is Like For A Person In A Polyamorous Relationship
By Julia Fox
Still believe that exclusivity is necessary for deep, committed, long-term and loving relationships? The modern divorce rate of 50% says otherwise.
As traditional Valentine’s Day-themed pink and red greeting cards replace the tired Christmas & New Year colors on the stands of stores, most of us are anticipating (or dreading) the invasion of our social networks and television with the typical romantic scenarios of exchanging gifts, kisses and love messages between two lovers of the opposite or the same sex. Very few of us ever imagine the holiday routine in relationships where there are more than two lovers involved.
The images of cheating two-timers running between the deceived spouse and the scheming mistress aside, we are hardly bombarded nowadays by pictures of non-traditional family unions, such as polyamorous families, where the conventional Valentine’s day gift exchange is a little bit more complicated.
Polyamorous unions where ethical and responsible non-monogamy… are estimated to have around 1.2 to 2.4 million followers in the United States alone.
Polyamorous unions where ethical and responsible non-monogamy is practiced with knowledge and consent of everyone involved are estimated to have around 1.2 to 2.4 million followers in the United States alone.
How do polyamorous relationships come about? I am sure it is rarely a case of waking up one morning with your partner snoring by your side and deciding ‘why not add to the duo.’ The stories of people entering into the polyamorous unions are as many and varied as those embarking on conventional ones.
The beginning of my polyamorous relationship was a case of almost choking on toast one morning after my husband of 10 years admitted to having a homosexual relationship back in his college years with a Ukrainian man named Sasha.
Skipping through the finding Sasha story and straight into the reality of maintaining a household and a life with two partners and, yes, surviving a Valentine’s day together, the polyamorous relationship with a bi-sexual partner and a homosexual one who spent all of his life in the closet became an adventure for me worth sharing.
Almost all of us enter into a romantic union with the desire to be happy and to make our partners happy. Unfortunately, helping Sasha “come out of the closet” and leave the Ukraine was a huge struggle due to the severe psychological repercussions of concealing his sexuality since he was a young teen.
Photo Credit: Roy Blumenthal/ Flickr (CC By 2.0)
Dreading being ostracized by the community, fearing shame, physical torture and even imprisonment, creating a heterosexual family and dissociating himself from the gay community altogether made Sasha (and many thousands of his compatriots) the broken man that he was when he joined our family. Thus, welcoming Sasha into our union and expecting a ‘happy-ever-after’ was just as irrational as anticipating an unclouded happiness in any relationship once the wedding bells quiet down.
Each person comes into a relationship, whether it is a traditional one or less then so, with one’s own baggage of expectations based on childhood memories, literature, social media and a load of personal traumatic experiences and their consequences, and thus Sasha joined us with the full baggage of his own.
Being forced into a traditional marriage by his parents and living his life as a heterosexual man affected Sasha’s mental health and contributed to the development of a whole range of mental issues, such as dissociation, depression, internalized homophobia, self-disgust, self-hatred and denial of one’s sexual orientation to oneself and others. There conditions are commonplace in persons with repressed sexual orientation, according to many prominent psychiatrists.
Sasha exhibited all kinds of issues, such as low self-esteem, negative body image and contempt for the more open LGBT members who decided to come out years before. More importantly, Sasha had a tendency to deny that homophobia was a serious social problem altogether. Remaining in a heterosexual relationship for most of his life in an attempt to pass as ‘normal’ and to gain social approval, Sasha became chronically depressed and took to heavy drinking. His fear of intimacy and his suicidal thoughts presented a bigger challenge and a threat to our union.
My brief relationship with Sasha opened my eyes to the many aspects of homosexuality and the life paths that LGBT men and women choose in the parts of the world where homosexuality is still considered an abnormality.
My brief relationship with Sasha opened my eyes to the many aspects of homosexuality and the life paths that LGBT men and women choose in the parts of the world where homosexuality is still considered an abnormality.
The freedoms that sexual minorities are enjoying in the majority of democratic countries today are precious and unheard of in such places as Ukraine, Russia, Belorussia, Azerbaijan and other post-Soviet territories. Giving American LGBT members a glimpse into the lives of those who are less fortunate and still struggle for their rights might be an eye-opening experience this Valentine’s day.
Sasha’s arrival in our life, the life of a typical monogamous heterosexual couple, meant re-imagining our relationship, challenging traditional marriage, sexuality and love itself. All three of us had to learn to navigate and explore the challenges and complexities of a polyamorous reality together against a backdrop of cultural and societal expectations and judgments.
Examining and questioning the dynamic and often challenging elements of marriage, relationships and acceptance, are just a few issues that polyamorous unions might bring out into the discussion.
Julia Fox immigrated from Russia in her late teens, settling in the United States in the early 90s. She published two books of poetry before leaving her home country, both in Russian, and published two more in English language after immigrating. And Then There Were Three: Sixty Seven Letters to Sasha is her first autobiographical memoir.
For more information about And Then There Were Three: Sixty-Seven Letters to Sasha, please visit Julia Fox’s website, Facebook and Twitter pages.
Cover Photo Credit: Roy Blumenthal/ Flickr (CC By 2.0)
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Daniel Holtzclaw Targeted Black Women Because He Thought No One Would Believe Them
Ex-police officer Daniel Holtzclaw sobbed while a judge read him the guilty verdict handed down by a Oklahoma City jury on 18 of the 36 charges for assaulting at least 13 black women.
He was found guilty Thursday of six counts of sexual battery, three counts of lewd exhibition, four counts of forcible oral sodomy, four counts of rape in the first degree, and one count of rape in the second degree. He will be sentenced next month.
The verdict came after four days of deliberation by an all white jury. Their task was not only to decide on a verdict, but in case of a guilty verdict, they were also to recommend a sentence. They’ve recommended 263 years.
Some survivors and their attorneys held an emotional press conference today in response to the verdict.
One of the survivors, Jannie Lygons said she was pulled over for no reason, and Holtzclaw forced her to give him oral sex.
“I was violated in June by a police officer,” Lygons said. “He did things to me I didn’t think a police officer would do.” She said she thought he was going to kill her.
Sade Hill, another survivor added her voice, “I was scared. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I was in survivor mode, so I had to do what he was making me do.”
It’s evident that Holtzclaw used his status as a police officer to coerce and intimidate his victims.
He targeted women he didn’t think the system would believe or protect. By focusing on poor black women with criminal records who didn’t trust the police, Holtzclaw avoided getting caught.
Black women carry the added fear of sexual violence from law enforcement. This is something that is seldom included in police misconduct narratives.
“Not only is this individual stopping women who fit a profile of members of our society who are confronted rightly or wrongly by police officers all the time,” said the Oklahoma County prosecutor, Gayland Gieger. “He identifies a vulnerable society that without exception except one have an attitude for ‘What good is it gonna do? He’s a police officer. Who’s going to believe me?’”
Watch: Daniel Holtzclaw verdict reading
The make up of the jury was criticized by the Oklahoma City National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) during the trial. African Americans make up 16 percent of Oklahoma County’s population, but were no black people among the eight men and four women on the jury.
There is an undeniable element of race in the crimes themselves. The fear of being targeted by police is legitimate and prevalent in the black community. However discussions of police brutality are often based on abuse likely to happen to both sexes. Black women carry the added fear of sexual violence from law enforcement. This is something that is seldom included in police misconduct narratives.
Moreover, while there is certainly the reality of offending officers often not facing justice, research shows that sexual assault convictions are rare. In the cases of white men against black women, convictions are essentially non-existent.
The Black Lives Matter movement focuses on police misconduct. They’ve managed to bring race and police brutality to the national stage. But there is an aspect missing to that conversation.
Rape culture is a theory that is still often scoffed at, but it is a valid one.
Discussion on certain environments that may normalize or facilitate rape is needed, especially within the Black Lives Matter movement and conversations on police violence.
Cover Photo Credit: US Uncut/ Youtube (Screengrab)
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What It Really Means To Be A Woman During This Election
On January 20th, 2009, many Americans wept with joy that we had elected our very first African American President.
And when Obama was actually inaugurated on that day, America’s ideals changed for the better, and history was made.
Thunderous applause exploded in the streets of our cities as we all looked at one another smiling and discussing how far we had come.
For every individual who is dedicated to equality and the teachings of the Civil Rights Movement, Obama’s presidency was more than gratification for electing a smart, center-left Democrat into office.
That moment also stood for the thousands of advocates who fought for liberty and democracy for all around the country.
This was for the legs that carried scores of brave Americans from Selma to Montgomery, for the students in Little Rock, and for all of us that grew up knowing the “I Have A Dream” speech backwards and forwards while having the privilege of never knowing what it felt like to dream of our own freedom and opportunity.
Photo Credit: Mike Norton/ Flickr (CC By 2.0)
Now, Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee for President, and we are less enthused.
But failing to acknowledge this momentous piece of American history would be a disservice to the women who fought for suffrage and equal rights.
In a now famous DNC video montage of all the past male presidents, the glass shatters and Hillary appears, “I can’t believe we just put the biggest crack in that glass ceiling yet”.
In 1919 women were granted the right to vote, second wave feminism fought for women’s sexual, familial, and economic freedom, and today, women’s rights fight for equal pay, respect, the right to choose, and racial and sexual liberty for all.
This is the time in history that America has been struggling towards, and we are taking it for granted.
To be a woman at this time in history means to be a woman who can vote, who can work, use birth control, and maybe even be president.
Hillary might not be the woman that we have all been waiting for, but she represents the moment that we have all been waiting for and that cannot be disregarded.
Photo Credit: Gage Skidmore/ Flickr (CC By 2.0)
Her nomination is even more important and profound when you compare her to the Republican nominee.
While Donald Trump attempts to throw America back in history, to a time when fascists ruled with impunity around the world, when your race and religion separated you in your own country, when fear drove people to commit unforgivable acts of hatred and violence, Hillary represents something grander and more fundamentally American.
She is the first woman to be nominated as a major party nominee for President, but she is also a socially empathetic, driven, and passionate leader that cares about people.
The stark difference between her and Trump makes this election an important choice for the kind of America we want to be.
Are we the kind that allows such an unqualified and odious meathead of a man to become commander-in-chief, or are we the kind that is ready to Elect a woman?
This choice goes beyond four years of a single presidency. Like Obama, Hillary Clinton will become a historic model of America.
This is what our children will know about.
They too will learn the “I Have A Dream” speech, and now they will learn the story of the first Black President’s election, and maybe, they will even learn about the first female president.
This is big, and it shouldn’t be overlooked.
Photo Credit: DVIDSHUB/ Flickr (CC By 2.0)
Of course, people have their complaints about Hillary, and that should be recognized, but this is about so much more than the individual candidate, and this is about avoiding our children learning about the rude and racist 45th president, Adolf- I mean Donald Hitler- sorry, Trump.
We might have our very first female president, and that in it of itself is something to extol.
Like Cory Booker said in his speech at the Democratic National Convention, “Generations of heroic Americans have made our nation more inclusive, more expansive, and more just”. Whatever your feelings of Hillary Clinton may be you cannot disagree that she is far more likely to uphold this ideal than Trump.
Martin Luther King Jr. once explained that, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy”.
There is controversy surrounding Hillary Clinton, but there is so much to appreciate and afford to this woman.
It may feel different than how we dreamt it would, but it is still so incredible, and we should feel proud.
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Cover Photo Credit: Lorie Shaull
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