In just six days, most of us will be joining millions of other Star Wars fans across the world to watch the international premiere of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. We’ve all been desperately waiting for this moment for a very long time now, and it would be a shame if something dares ruin the moment…
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By Staff Report
We wrote this fake news story on April Fools Day in a desperate attempt to get you to visit our website so we can generate revenue by showing you advertising.
We also did it because we have problems with valuing our self-worth and badly want you to validate our existence.
The longer we are able to keep you convinced that this is a real article and not just some desperate attempt to show you that we have a sense of humor or are well-adjusted human beings, the more revenue we can generate.
While we could have just continued to go about our normal business and stuck to reporting original stories that millennials care about, we’ve decided to waste your time.
The fact that you still think that there may be a real story forthcoming in this particular post is actually more of a reflection of you as a reader, than us as a content creator.
Sometimes we use pull quotes like this to show you something really important in the text. This time, we are just using it to dick around with you.
Here’s a picture that will keep you on the page for about three seconds more than you would have without it:
Now listen to this song so you can stay here longer. Please never leave us. We don’t do well with rejection.
And we DON’T CARE WHAT THE DOCTORS SAY.
This is a nice song right?
We’re not sure anymore:
Dark and light. Black and white. Content and chaos. God is content and content is God.
Filler sentence to serve as a bridge from one content piece to another one because that is how much we value you as a consumer of information in the 21st century:
Just tell us what you what and we’ll do it.
Just tell us and we’ll take of it.
We aren’t people anymore but mere cave dwellers who live for the rare moments when our kidneys are filled with clicks.
But times have been tough lately. The clicks aren’t flowing upstream like they’ve been for generations. Some blame climate change. Other say it’s Monsanto or Obama. But we know the true source for our plight- all of humanity.Loading ...
If you have made it this far through this story then you’ve probably realized that this is not a news article at all but a mere ruse to generate revenue through web advertising.
You have caught us in the act and we are ashamed.
But what’s this?
You weren’t expecting us to pull out this switchblade were you? You didn’t think we had it in us.
Well NOW YOU KNOW HOW SERIOUS WE REALLY ARE DON’T YOU?
TIME TO PLAY A LITTLE GAME BATMAN,
Yes, this is a April Fools Day parody article. But please tell us you knew that already.
Cover Photo Credit: stanjourdan/ Flickr (CC By 2.0)Post Views: 532
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By Staff Report
Halloween is one of the few times of the year where you actually are encouraged to dress your kids up in outfits that may come back to embarrass them later in life.
But the costume that Royce Hutain, the owner of Glowy Zoey, a California LED costume company made for his daughter Zoey is pretty amazing and totally not embarrassing.
I mean seriously. Watch this:
“I had the idea in my head, a brainstorm if you will, and then went to a few stores to pick up what I needed,” Hutain told ABC News via email. “I was inspired to make an El Niño costume because that’s all we’ve been hearing about in California lately.”
Didn’t have enough?
Yeah. Maybe you should rethink that tinfoil hat astronaut costume and get out the PVC pipe and power tools parents.
Like this piece? Rise News just launched a few weeks ago and is only getting started. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter to stay up to date with global news. Have a news tip? (No matter how big or small!) Send it to us- email@example.com.
Cover Photo Credit: Glowy Zoey/ Youtube (Screenshot)Post Views: 572
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By Courtney Anderson
Creepy clowns have been popping up all over the country.
There’s been so many sightings, heavy.com has compiled a list of states that have reported clown sightings. And it’s a long list.
So far, at least 28 states have reported weirdness in the form of people in clown costumes intimidating and even assaulting people.
And most of the states have reported varying degrees of violence and intimidation from the clowns.
While some the police departments in some states have found the clowns to be just annoying hoaxes, some have had it much worse.
In Memphis, Tennessee, someone in a clown mask robbed a bank and threatened customers with explosives.
A couple of weeks earlier, students at the University of Tennessee received an alert from the university stating that students in clown costumes were physically assaulting students who on campus after dark as a part of a “Purge” re-enactment.
A Georgia news site reported that someone in a clown mask tried to lure children into a wooded area.
The article on Heavy.com reported an 11-year old girl in Athens took a knife to school to protect herself from clowns that had been spotted in the area.
A 10th grade student in Pennsylvania was fatally stabbed after getting into a fight with someone in a clown mask, according to Pennsylvania news site Pennlive.com.
Police have been arresting many clowns, but it hasn’t stopped many others from popping up in their place.
It’s got to be one of the strangest—and most frightening–trends, but it’s not a trend that’s entirely new.
In 2014, California dealt with creepy clowns.
According to a report from CNN, while California is sans-clowns in 2016 (as of now), Bakersfield police had about 20 reports about clowns threatening people in the area.
And then there is the 2013 clown sighting in England that turned out to be a “performance art” stunt.
Not to mention the various reports of “Ain’t Clowning Around” social media accounts that have been created and deleted or proven to be hoaxes over the past couple of years.
One major question regarding these sightings is “why?”
Why are people deciding to dress up as clowns and terrorize people?
People.com tried to answer the question in its article “Why You Shouldn’t Panic About This Year’s Clown Panic.”
In the article, author of Bad Clowns, Benjamin Radford states that many of the creepy clowns are “copy cats,” taking inspiration from previous reports.
Radford also said that social media has been a “powerful amplifier” for the sightings.
And he doesn’t really see it going away permanently, especially with the escalating reactions to the clowns.
“These archetypes are in our culture, they are not going away,” Radford said to People.com. “I guarantee you there will be another phantom clown panic – maybe two years, maybe five years, but it’ll happen again.”
Well, as long as the sightings continue, so will the creepiness.
RISE NEWS is a grassroots journalism news organization that is working to change the way young people become informed and engaged in the world. You can write for us.
Cover Photo Credit: Coconut Cove/ Flickr (CC By 2.0)Post Views: 578
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