Why do you do this to us?
In what could literally only happen in 2016 America, we learned today that you can actually hire a “professional” Pokemon Go trainer to go around and catch Pokemon for you while you do adult things during the day.
For the low, low price of $20 an hour, you can take the fun right out of that app!
Don’t believe us?
Just check out the Craigslist ad promoting the service.
“About me: Also known as ‘Golbat-chan’ on sites like 4chan and imgur, I am a 24-year-old lifelong Pokemon enthusiast who wants to help YOU become the very best.
My services are simple: I will walk around in 1-4 hour shifts signed in to your account capturing every single Pokemon I come into contact with, activating every Poke Stop I pass and walking nonstop to help hatch your eggs. I’ll even send you hourly updates while you’re at work/class/on a hot date informing you of any really exciting things I’ve come across for you. Pokemon training help, gym battles and strategy tips are also included, if requested.”
Oh dead God…
“About me: I’m a white female, NYU grad, and a well-employed freelance journalist with a massive Golbat tattoo on my arm. I have been playing Pokemon (both cards and gameboy/DS) since 1997 and Pokemon GO since its opening day. I’m in between major projects and have a lot of spare time on my hands right now and also may or may not write an article about this in the future. Personally, I am a level 15 trainer in Pokemon GO right now and control all of the gyms near my place. I know what I’m doing. For more info about me (and to see that I am, in fact, a real human being) check out the VICE article that has been written about me and my obsession.”
On the other hand, is this really any stranger than something like Bitcoin for example? I mean, we are now living in a society where we are creating our own cryptocurrency, we might as well create a cryptoworkforce of cryptojobs.
Still not sold on this thing?
Well you wait.
“I will catch them all,” the ad reads. “I will focus in on catching specific types of Pokemon (i.e. fire, water, electric) if you want. I’ll even send you silly screenshots so you don’t feel too much FOMO while you’re doing something that prevents you from accessing PokeWorld.”
So what do you think? Would you ever use a paid Pokemon trainer to help beef up your Pokemon Go game?
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