Dating

Is Bumble Really More Empowering For Women Than Tinder?

Finding true love just got easier due to the latest trend of dating apps available on smart phones.

Users are literally finger tips away from connecting with the right person, but who will make the first move?

There is a broad range of dating app, such as OK Cupid and Tinder, but the app that caught my attention was Bumble, often referred to by many as the “feminist app.”

It works just like any other dating app, where users set up a profile of themselves and swipe right if they have an interest in someone.

But here’s the catch, women make the first move.

Men and women both make their own connections, but once a connection is made, women only have a span of 24 hours to initiate a conversation before the connection disappears.

Then men only have 24 hours to respond to that first move by the woman.

But is the ability to make the first move more empowering for women?

For many yes, women have the control in this scenario, making men wait by the phone for the first response.

It is a total inversion of the typical dating app experience in that way.

Women at a Bumble event in Melbourne, Australia. Photo Credit: Bumble/ Facebook

Women have men wrapped around their fingers waiting for that first text message.

Dating is not easy and having the courage to be the first one to reach out to a possible connection can boost the confidence of many women.

Bumble changes the stereotypical role of waiting three days for the guy to call, pushing for women to take action within a 24 hour time frame.

For others, being the first to say “Hello” is easier said than done.

For those too shy to make the first move then have a limited time frame before the connection is lost.

There is pressure to initiate the conversation, which for many can feel more disappointing than empowering.

Some simply have no idea what to say, which happens sometimes, and that should be okay.

Everyone has different experiences with dating apps, both good and bad, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Many women have reported good feedback from using Bumble and have had good conversations with their connections from going on dates to just establishing friendships.

That is the beauty of dating apps you have control to choose the person you want to have a connection with, and Bumble offers a different perspective on who makes the first move.

There is no instruction manual or rule book to follow when it comes to finding love, and everyone is entitled to go about that journey the way they choose.

So is Bumble more empowering for women than Tinder?

It certainly has the potential to be.

RISE NEWS is a grassroots journalism news organization that is working to change the way young people become informed and engaged in the world. You can write for us.

Cover Photo Credit: Bumble/ Facebook

Ladies, This D Ain’t Free

The world is filled with hypocrites, racism, Donald Trump tweets, and double standards.

There are a bunch of double standards in different areas of life but, guess what I’ll be focusing on?

*Ding, Ding, Ding*

The dating world!

More specifically, the first date.

Yup, a perfect follow up to my Valentine’s Day special.

“Oh my god, how can he talk about double standards in the dating world if he isn’t in a relationship? Oh no. He’s generalizing.”

First of all, hush.

Not the case, whatsoever.

I decided that I would interview a few people and see where they stand on the topic.

I made a conscious effort to search for and include singles, couples, gay, straight, brown, white, purple, Donald Trump supporters.

I think I’m going to stop dropping his name now, every time I type it I hear “Dun, Dun, DUN”.

It’s weird.

So, after the Valentine’s Day article was published, my good friend Lamar a.k.a. Big Money Mar planted the seed in my head to write an article addressing the “Double Standard”.

I ran with it.

Actually, it gives me a great excuse to talk to all the pretty girls around campus and other universities in the area.

So, why not?

The question was “In regards to the first date, should men be expected to pick up the bill?”

Society, custom, tradition, status quo, what ever you wish to call it has deemed it a requirement for the man to pay for the first date.

It is what it is.

No way to get around it.

The man has always been expected to be chivalrous due to some old fashioned courting technique established when Shakespeare was shaking it for a shilling.

When I asked Habon, a senior at the University of Baltimore, if the man should pay for the first date?

She succinctly replied, “The man should always pay.”

What ever the first date looks like to you, the man must pay according to the rules of society unless it is communicated otherwise; which a few young ladies agreed with.

You know he just paid for dinner, right? Photo Credit: Iselin/ Flickr (CC By 2.0)

Sydney, a Towson University sophomore agreed.

“Yes, I believe that clear and understanding conversations can eliminate the double standard. I don’t think there’s a big problem with going half on the first date.”

“All depends on who asked who out” says Siobhan, a graduate student at The University of Baltimore. “I personally would pay for the first date if I asked the man out. If he asked me out, then I would expect him to pay.”

While Taylor, a senior at The University of Baltimore, strongly believes the man has to pay to have her heart. “If the man is truly interested in pursuing, he should pay on the first date. If not, I categorize him as a friend. Paying for the first meal is an act of providing for a potential lover. If he doesn’t pay, that’s not a good sign in my opinion.”

If some women believe that paying for the first date equates to showing interest, how do men discern whether a woman is interested in a relationship or interested in getting a free meal?

Think about that one.

In a society where women compete with men in all aspects of life whether it be the workplace, weight room, court room, and even the battlefield it seems hypocritical for a woman to bow out when the bill hits the table, don’t you think?

Some will avoid the conversation and brush it off with the usual rebuttal “It’s just how it is.”

But, if I’m not mistaken, not too long ago women weren’t allowed to hold the same position as a man in society and that was brushed off with “It’s just how it is.”

So how is it O.K. to want to break down walls but be selective of which bricks remain?

If you’re reading this and think to yourself “He’s making this a big issue because he’s broke”, that’s definitely not the case either and congratulations, you played yourself.

Honestly, this is a conversation that needs to be had.

Some women are holding onto this outdated custom which essentially places them in an inferior position but are steady marching around the world hoisting “Respect my Existence or Expect my Resistance” signs above their head.

I say inferior position very loosely because I am not implying that women can’t pay for the bill but, in my eyes women are surrendering their power just for an expected meal.

It’s mind-boggling to me.

I asked Jennifer R. for her position on the matter, a woman with more experience than the college girls I had interviewed.

She said: “Our society has always put pressure on a man to pay, especially with the first date. It’s expected. When I go on dates I always make sure I have money to cover the bill. I have paid for dates in the past, I want to pay for dates but the first one is the ice breaker. Let a man be a man from time to time but also give him the respect he deserves and pay.”

“It isn’t necessarily the man’s fault for the existence of the double standard” said Lamar a.k.a. Big Money Mar.

Which is true.

It isn’t our fault (or at least the Millennials)!

So where do we go from here?

How do we progress as a society if women hold onto outdated customs?

Ladies, some of y’all earn more than the male counterpart but are still expecting dinner on the first date.

Don’t allow old traditions to erase the historical and monumental progress that has been made over the years.

It’s 2017!

Out with the old, in with the new.

Pick up the bill ladies, turn the tables, and keep making history.

And always remember that this D ain’t free.

RISE NEWS is a grassroots journalism news organization that is working to change the way young people become informed and engaged in the world. You can write for us.

Cover Photo Credit: Eve Ma/ Flickr (CC By 2.0)

Does Tinder Prove That “True Love” Is A Myth?

Online dating can be a minefield.

Fake accounts, bad intentioned users and conversations that can only be classified as cringeworthy.

But for those using apps like Tinder, finding a legitimate connection with someone can be hindered by a factor you don’t always think about; your location.

What happens if your search range on the app is 25 miles, but your “true love” is 26 miles away?

Sure, that may be overthinking it, but just like in real life, it’s a real possibility that you could be passing by your potential significant other simply because they’re located slightly outside your search distance.

There are 1.4 billion swipes and 26 million matches per day on Tinder.

One of those matches lead to Arianna Johnson meeting her husband Ben.

Arianna said she wasn’t expecting to meet her future husband through Tinder.

Photo Credit: @markheybo/ Flickr (CC By 2.0)

She had been using the app for a year on and off, going on a few dates, with three turning into what she considers actual relationships.  

At the time, Arianna had her search distance maxed out to 100 miles.

“I did it because it allows for potential matches,” Arianna said.  

Arianna recalls Ben being around 20 to 30 miles away from her when the two originally matched.

For Arianna, distance wasn’t going to be the biggest hurdle in meeting someone, but talking to a stranger might have been.

“When you go to a coffee shop…you don’t know if a person is single or taken,” Arianna said. “It’s ‘hard to talk to a total stranger…If I saw my husband in public without Tinder, I probably would have never gone up to talk to him.”

Unfortunately for the rest of us, cases like Arianna and Ben’s serve as an outlier to overall online dating statistics.

According to Pew Research, only 5% of Americans who are married or are in committed relationships say they met their significant other online.

The good news is, Pew Research also indicates that online dating has lost much of its negative stigma, with only 23% of American adults believing people who use online dating sites are desperate, and 59% now say that Online dating is a good way to meet people.

So now we can swipe away without the majority of people giving us the stare down.

Small victories right?

Arianna Johnson met her husband Ben on Tinder.

You should be worrying about the truly important things when using online dating.

Read More: RFK Jr And Donald Trump Might Team Up To Undermine Vaccinations

Things like coming up with a witty pick-up line they’ve never heard of before, or making sure your pictures and bio page describe you as the perfect match, straying away from the hyperbolic nonsense that would lead your date to realize you are way lamer than they initially thought.

In all seriousness, the biggest obstacle preventing you from meeting that special someone might still be starting that initial conversation.

Stressing about missing your “true love” because you didn’t set your search distance high enough is superfluous.

RISE NEWS is a grassroots journalism news organization that is working to change the way young people become informed and engaged in the world. You can write for us.

Cover Photo Credit: Connie Ma/ Flickr (CC By 2.0)

Nah, Tinder Doesn’t Have A Fake Profile Problem At All

Tinder, the very popular online dating app is known for its spam problem.

While (probably) millions of people use the app to get dates or meet people in their geographic area, a healthy percentage of Tinder accounts are not that human.

Prostitution rings, cam girls and porn websites have been known to pay top dollar to trick Tinder users into clicking on links and buying products.

“Some of the sites pay $6.00 per lead for a successful sign-up and up to $60 if a lead becomes a premium member,” security response manager Satnam Narang told the Guardian about the scams.

But for those who still refuse to believe that they could be cat-fished on Tinder, just keep scrolling.

Here at RISE NEWS, we did a little test and started swiping right in the name of journalism (and love or whatever).

We’re based in Miami and over the course of one day, we came across over 40 separate profiles that were almost identical.

It got a bit depressing. Like really depressing.

All of the fake profiles purport to be either 23 or 25 (because being 24 really sucks apparently). Most of them claimed to work in “communications” at vague sounding firms or at an area college (that was incorrectly identified as Miami University, which is in Ohio).

Each of the bios were nearly identical with the same message: “I love playing [sport name], [hobby], [hobby] and [some sort of activity] before sleeping.”

Here’s a very sad taste of what we found:

#1

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#5IMG_0540 4

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#7 IMG_0537 3

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#9

Let us know if you know someone in these pictures: editor@risenews.net.

IMG_0532 2

#10

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#11

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#12

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#13

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#14

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#15

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#17

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#18

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#19

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#21

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#22

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#23

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#24

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#25

Why are still looking at these?

But seriously, if you have any sort of tip about spammers or scammers on Tinder send us a email to editor@risenews.net.

IMG_0562 7

#26

IMG_0555 5

#27

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#28

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#29

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#30

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#31

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RISE NEWS  is a grassroots journalism news organization that is working to change the way young people become informed and engaged in public affairs. You can write for us!

 

Is Sugardaddie.com Just An Online Brothel Or A Legit Dating Service?

This story was originally published on risemiaminews.com on July 20, 2015.

 By Nicholas Olivera

Sugardaddie.com is in a business that is in many ways, centuries old.

The Miami-based online dating service connects wealthy men with younger, attractive women who may or may not be under difficult financial circumstances. The obvious implication of a service such as Sugardaddie is that it is essentially a form of high-class prostitution although its founder and CEO, Steve Pasternack thinks otherwise.

“The relationships that develop on my site are completely different than that,” Pasternack, who has been bombarded with the questions of prostitution since the site’s inception in the early 2000s said. “If a woman only engages in sexual activity with a man in exchange for something then it is a business transaction.”

He continued that if users do get physical and it is part of an ongoing relationship in which the man takes care of the woman, perhaps giving her gifts or taking her out on trips, then it is no different from a regular relationship.

Some argue these ongoing relationships still began with a somewhat business relationship.

“We have our exchange relationships, which we have with anyone who will give goods or service in exchange for something, such as a housekeeper,” Asia Eaton, assistant professor in Psychology and Women’s and Gender Studies at Florida International University said. “And then we have our communal relationships which we share with people we genuinely care, such as our family or friends. No matter what these relationships that develop began as an exchange relationship.”

Eaton asserts that the ladies who enter these relationships out of economic necessity may use this reason in order to justify their actions. Perhaps this justification will even convince them that this relationship must continue for longer than initially desired.

Pasternack does not think it is economic necessity that drives women to his service. He claims that it is a desire to be with a man who has power, who can set high-level goals and achieve them, and on top of that is capable of caring for the woman in his life.

“It’s not the money, it’s the personality,” Pasternack said in an interview.

The Economist magazine recently featured Pasternack and his business in an article about how many college graduates with high levels of debt are turning to sugar daddy relationships as a financial fix. The Economist reported that Sugardaddie.com receives 5,000 new profile uploads across the world every day. A quick search on Alexa.com shows that the site is the 20,873 most popular in the United States with people spending an average of 23 minutes on the site every day.

Scott Cunningham, an associate professor of economics at Baylor University, states that there are three factors that often bring women to services like Sugardaddie.

The first is economic shock. It could be sudden employment or the illness of a family member. The second is level of repugnancy. There are women who find selling their companionship to be less repugnant than other women do. The third is knowledge.

“It’s usually informed women who know what they are getting themselves into that tend to use these services,” Cunningham said.

Regardless of a woman’s reasons for entering a sugardaddie-sugarbabe relationship, Pasternack believes that whatever comes from it could be a good thing.

“A lot of people look down upon the sugardaddie-sugarbaby relationship, but it’s no different than any average relationship.”

Like this piece? Rise News just launched a few weeks ago and is only getting started. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter to stay up to date with global news. Have a news tip? (No matter how big or small!) Send it to us- editor@risenews.net. 

Cover Photo Credit: Salvatore Barbera/ Flickr (CC By 2.0)

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